The Lows

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I have been a little depressed lately and have been neglecting to blog. Inundated with the various issues, I just did not have the mood to come in here to write. However, today I felt that precisely that, perhaps I should, all the more, journal it all down to flush it out of my system. Sigh.....

It was 20 months ago when Little Buddy first displayed a dislike for milk. I thought then that perhaps it was just an infant thing to be difficult and would probably be just a passing phrase. However, it proved to be a prolonged passing phrase. Each milk feed turned into a huge struggle as he just would not take the teat, practically yelling and crying through each session. Then started a quest to unearth the reasons for his rejection.

Instead of direct latch-on, I tried expressing out my milk and feeding via a bottle, trying all the available types of bottle teats, varying feeding positions, etc. Till finally I gave up and spoon-fed him. It was a little better as it shortened each milk feed to a mere 20 minutes, compared to a 2-hour marathon which would still leave me with an unfinished bottle of milk.

Little Buddy was not gaining weight too well, so I decided to start him early on cereal at 5 months. He took to it rather well and I was relieved. But I was not to know that it was only a temporal respite. He reverted to rejecting his meals and I was again at a loss at what to do.

Since then, I have cooked all the different types of food - vegetables, meat, soup and fruits, in every possible way that a young child of that age can possibly try. Yes, I have even tried starving him, hoping that he would eat when hungry. Most people would give me an incredulous look and be at a loss for words when I share how I tried everything that had been suggested but have yet to see any improvement in Little Buddy's feeding habits. I have brought him to different paedatricians, sought opinions of other mothers, searched for information on the web but I still could not find anything that helped. The paeds told me there is nothing physically wrong with Little Buddy, it is just a passing phase. Other mothers tell me to vary the food and preparation methods and that it is a just a passing phase.

I have been told 'it is just a passing phase' so many times that sometimes I really want to strangle the next person who says that. Oops! Yes, that is how terrible I feel right now. I mean this passing phase is already a 22-month phase! And I am exhausted having already struggled 22 months x 30 days x 5 solid/milk feeds per day = 3,300 times! Honestly, the whole issue is really getting into me and making me worried and depressed, wondering how long more this is going to last. I now dread every feeding session.

I have been praying and praying and praying daily, asking for a breakthrough. Please God, please let the day come when Little Buddy begins to enjoy his meals.....